Emotive words and evocative phrases give language its power.

Manage Emotions Vs. Controlling Emotions

Manage Emotions Vs. Controlling Emotions


Control your emotions – shutting down when you feel emotions. Do not let it surface. The entry is down. Didn’t get the message trying to give you. Pretend it is. Forcing yourself not to feel what you feel. Deny how you feel.


Being in touch with your emotions vs. being out of touch with your emotions

Experience your emotions and decide what you will do with this information vs. shutting down emotions, or reacting to it in knee jerk mode

Allowing your emotions as a source of valid information vs. being willing to allow only certain emotions you consider appropriate


Manage your emotions – like John James sitting in a meeting, he is aware of the racing pulse, jaw clamped, and his knees bouncing up and down. When he researched the source, he realized that his manager had once again underestimated the staff and claimed credit for what others were doing and this made him angry. He decided to stop pretending that he would change, and to prepare his resume.

Control your emotions – Maria’s husband humbles him again and then hits him in the face. He told himself he was a good person and could not help doing that, and that it did not hurt much. He “knew” there was nothing he could do about it, so he ignored the blinding headaches and stomach cramps, and continued on household chores.


When you manage your emotions, you can ‘get’ the important information they bring to you, and then decide whether to respond, and if so, how, when and where.

The benefits

  • Pull gently on the horse vs slightly whipping and use a spur
  • Drive vs. car driving the accelerator and brake
  • Lead the elephant out of the living room back where it belongs to. pretend elephants in the living room don’t exist

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